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28 March 2018 @ 08:29 pm

Tell me who you are

Why did you friend me? What are your secrets? Am I cool? Are you cool?

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: 'She is Perfect' by The Pillows
Sup, Livejournal, what the fuck brought me back here?

So I'm like wine-tipsy and shit and going through old entries and IT IS SO SAD HOW MY LIFE HAS NOT CHANGED UGH KMS. Like I still work at that fucking bookstore and people are always getting fired and we are understaffed and I WENT FROM BEING THE ONLY YOUTH DIRECTOR TO THE ONLY NONFICTION DIRECTOR (which is the BIGGEST DEPARTMENT and had THREE PEOPLE when I started and I LOVE CAPS).

But I am back in school????

Um I also moved out aaaaaages ago. It is pretty sweet but I hate my location. My house is cute though <3

Like what is the point of this? Why did I decide to post here again?

So what is my life right now? I'm on that work-full-time/school-full-time grind. It is killing me, but I want this second degree as soon as possible so that I can get a better job and stop living below the poverty line. How am I taking care of myself?! I don't know.

It's hard and stressed me out like nothing ever has, but I'm doing it. I'm going to do it. If single mothers can do this shit, then surely my dependent-less self can do this.

Current Mood: drunk
30 June 2013 @ 03:53 pm
Been back for a few days, actually. And my plates expire today, whoops! Need to get that taken care of tomorrow (thank god my state will let me do that!)

So, what's going on? I'm pretty much applying to anywhere, hoping to see what sticks. There's a position at an art gallery downtown that I'm perfect for, so here's hoping they give me a call. Apparently Whole Foods is interested in me as well, so fingers crossed. I'd kind of want the gallery position more because it's 1)more likely to lead to a career, I think, and 2)will keep me from feeling like I completely wasted my degree. Its only part time, though, so maybe I could have that and the Whole Foods position (I think they hire part time; there are a lot of young people there which implies college students).

I've also been working on my room, sorting through things and organizing from before I leave. I want to have things ready for when I move out so that the ordeal is as painless as possible. I have far too many knick-knacks that just need to be thrown away. Such a packrat!

So yeah. The plan is to get a job so I won't be holding my future roommates back when they're ready to move. I think we might be waiting for one to see which school she got into, but I've been gone for a month and she may have changed her mind.

That's pretty much it. Hanging out with Kwax tomorrow, then the same old stuff.

Does anybody even read this anymore?
20 June 2013 @ 10:38 am
Berlin is hot as ballllllls, oh my god. Rave and I got froyo for lunch yesterday, and that is all we did. Our hotel room doesn't have air conditioning, wtf. Or if it does, we can't figure out how to work it.

Anyway, gonna get my mind off this heat. Gonna buy our tickets to Paris today, then go see Man of Steel because cool air. Bye!
05 December 2011 @ 07:49 am
But there was another sort of people, the real ones, to which they all belonged, and for whom one had, above all, to be elegant, handsome, magnanimous, bold, gay, to give oneself to every passion without blushing and laugh at everything else.

I was reading Anna Karenina last night, and that quote really stuck out at me. I'm starting to like Vronsky.
Current Mood: impressed
29 November 2011 @ 05:31 pm
Yes, that is spelled wrong on purpose.

So I've been in a bad mood for like the past two weeks, and it just will. Not. Go. Away. I'm tired of being so grumpy all day every day.

My room is in desperate need of a cleaning, but I'm always so tired and my feet hurt so much after work. I think I'm going to tackle it after I go swimming, though.

Speaking of work, we've gotten like 234791832142 people come in with stolen merchandise. I swear the past four iPads we've gotten have been stolen, and probably a few systems as well. A guy got "busted" (more like questioned) today during my shift, though--it was pretty fucking obvious that all of his merchandise was stolen. Interestingly enough, to cops just HAPPENED to show up for reasons unrelated to thief guy. Apparently, thanks to our records, the police were also able to bust up a "gang of thieves."

My section got a bunch of Tamora Pierce books and I want all of them. Every single one. But I have five billion things on my reading list, five billion games to play, and no time for any of it.

Are any of you on Goodreads? You should add me.

Anyway, I am going to actually drag my ass to the pool, as I've been bitching about not going for the past two days but haven't actually managed to get myself there.
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: 'Do The Astral Plane' by Flying Lotus
01 May 2011 @ 06:39 pm
Why didn't you bitches tell me that Arizona makes Arnold Palmers. That shit is delicious.
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: glub glub glub
04 April 2011 @ 09:11 pm
This entry is being written whether it wants to or not.

I did't get an interview with Carter's. No big deal, I took it well. I'll just move back home and get a job in retail. My dream might be harder to achieve that way, but it should come faster. I totally got this.

Or so I thought.

I applied to an opening Teavana store yesterday, and today I got this e-mail:Collapse )
And somehow, that is the most crushing rejection I've received so far because if I can't get a job in retail, where can I get one?

I got that e-mail about 4 hours ago. I'm doing a bit better now, looking to other options and stuff. Got a few more jobs lined up for NC, but none of them seem as awesome as Teavana would be. One's another tea store, but it seems really pretentious and upper-class.


Have I told you guys about my "dream"? Apparently it has to do with starting my own business. Whenever I imagine myself in the future, I'm always a creative director of some sort, and I think I'd rather be the director of my own works rather than something already in existence. I don't know...well, I have an idea of what I'll be selling, but I'd like a year or three to work on my construction.

Which is why I need a job, so I can have money for materials and mistakes.

I'm just blue right now. I'll get over it, I know. I always do. Things feel hopeless right now, but I know they're not.

Though I do think I'll be going to bed early tonight, instead of staying up working on thesis. I need to not work myself to death for a bit.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: gloomy
Current Music: 'Square 1' by Panacea
02 April 2011 @ 02:47 am
So druuuuuuuunk.
Current Location: drunk
Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: drunk no longer looks like a word. Have I spelled it right?
25 February 2011 @ 09:47 am
I think it's perfectly acceptable to congratulate yourself on something you do well, even if that congratulations extends to narcissism. We all should experience that overwhelming sense of self-love, where you do something so perfect you can't stand it.

So let me just say, god damn do I know how pick an outfit. I'm bringing sartorial excellence to this interview, because not only am I stylin', but I am profilin' as well.
Current Mood: accomplished
24 February 2011 @ 11:47 am
Gosh, I neglect Livejournal a lot. I have lots to talk about, but I never seem to be able to put it into words.

I've got an interview tomorrow with Abercrombie & Fitch...it's a potential job, one that I can do without worry, and it's in an area with a low cost-of-living, so I've heard. It'll help me save up for San Francisco.

Speaking of, I've been doing horribly in those savings. I just had to spend $400 on a plane ticket to visit my dad over Spring Break, and I need to buy a pair of shoes for my interview tomorrow. I've also been slacking off on exercising, but I think my imminent period is making me moody and lethargic.

I can't wait until the water is warm and I can go swimming again!

Anyway, wish me luck tomorrow! I'm a bit nervous about my portfolio (Do they want moodboards? I don't have mood boards...), but I'm pretty confident in my ability to pull off utterly charming, so we'll see.

Tumblr has been getting on my nerves lately. I'm tired of all the self-righteous activists patting themselves on the back and shaming others for supposedly not caring about Libya and the other issues cropping up in the news.

I care. I care tons. But sometimes, like now, I'm overwhelmed by how helpless I am and how horrible it all is, and I'm unable to push past that and enter the "Do It Anyway" phase. My tumblr is an extension of myself, and I don't want triggering shit on it.

Anyway, on to better things. Thesis is going awesome, and I'm really excited for it! I can't remember being this happy about class, haha. Hasn't happened in a long time. Zbrush is fun, but the room is too hot and too bright and I usually get a headache within 30 minutes. The fact that I spend most of my time re-topologizing as opposed to sculpting doesn't help.

Anyway, I think this evening will be spend quickly compiling some mood boards, printing out my porfolio, and playing some video games. Okami for the Wii is being obnoxious because it's refusing to register a slash as such, so I'm taking a break from it. I might finish Trauma Team or re-start Parasite Eve.

This entry is done!
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Current Mood: calm
17 November 2010 @ 10:31 pm
AAAAAHH you guys I have so much to talk about and so many things but I just had THREE MELTDOWNS in the same number of hours and oh my god I cannot :( So instead I'm going to sit here and guzzle strawberry mini-wheats as I try to CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

Also also bless you Zach for giving me your extra chicken sandwich yesterday because I am about to eat it and oh god comfort food.
Current Mood: high-strung
05 November 2010 @ 12:24 am
You guys. Occasionally, about a week before my period hits, I'll get these really sharp, really awful pains on either side of my hips around where my hipbone is. The pain might actually becoming from the bone, but I tend to be a hypochondriac so I think I'm just overreacting. I had a horrible one on my right side Wednesday morning, and I can sill feel the ghost of it. And now I'm afraid to go to bed because that pain could happen at ANY MOMENT.

Like seriously. The ghost of pain is getting stronger, and I'm afraid it's going to become full-on pain. Maybe I should take something to nip it in the bud.

Whyyyy do I take anything not-good that happens to my body as a sign that I am dying?!

Maybe it is delayed puberty?
Current Mood: ouch
Current Music: 'Come On Down' from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game
02 November 2010 @ 11:33 am
Stop making it so easy and tempting to skip class! But so I don't get into the habit, I'm going to go and work on other assignments because your lectures have no direction or impact.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Youtube
09 October 2010 @ 09:35 pm
I have a question for all you writers out there.

When you've got a bunch of stories bubbling around in your head, how do you choose which one to work on first? :
Current Mood: mellow
Comment and I'll give you a colour that I think represents you, and then you list ten things you like in that colour!I like red!Collapse )

So this evening has been all about gaming-related things, including listening to a few Big Red Potion podcasts and watching the trailer for The Third Birthday. I have to say, NOT FUCKING IMPRESSED. It looks like Aya's gotten breast implants for absolutely no reason, and she was wearing that stupid, "I'm a troubled, frightened woman" expression in every shot. If my predictions are correct, this incarnation of Aya will pretty much be Samus from Metroid: Other M.

And don't get me started on the whole, "the less clothes she's wearing, the more damage she takes!" bullshit. Yeah, that won't have any negative implications AT ALL.

Disclaimer: haven't finished Parasite Eve, haven't played the sequel, but from what I can gather, Aya's a confident, capable woman (hell, the game tells you this before you even fight anything in PE1) who has faced fucking hell demons before. Saving NYC from a giant tentacle monster (um, ew) should be no big deal for her.

So I started this post like Tuesday night! And now it's Friday (that meme took forever oh my god) and things have happened. In WorldWatch, we watched this STUPID documentary that was set to an 80's rock concert, I swear to god. The content was interesting (Mao Zedong), but the soundtrack was just so stupid, it really cheapened the experience.

I'm also upset because apparently my laptop is messed up, and this is preventing me from installing Windows and getting back into Granado Espada. I was really looking forward to that, but apparently my hard drive needs repairing. I need the Mac OSX installation disk to fix it, apparently, and I'm pretty sure I don't have that. And I.T. isn't open until Monday >: Now what am I supposed to do with my weekend?

I'm also conflicted as to how I want to waste my money what I should save for/buy in the more immediate future. I'm still wobbling back and forth between a PS3 and a 360, and now the PSP's been added to the mix. I didn't even want one until I saw the super-pretty Assassin's Creed version, and there are a few games I'd be interested in (Third Birthday, despite my above rant; Dissidia; Birth by Sleep; Patapon 2; and I swear there was one more). A PSP would be about $100 cheaper, buuuut I've wanted a 360/PS3 for longer. MAKE DECISIONS EASIER, WORLD.

I'm typing this while watching people play Street Fighter IV and it looks very entertaining. TOO BAD I HAVE A PHOBIA OF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN FRONT OF PEOPLE though for some reason this didn't apply when I was playing Left 4 Dead last year idk.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: now people are playing Rock Band
03 October 2010 @ 08:53 pm
So much for that switch to Dreamwidth, huh?!

I'm considering picking up the new Kingdom Hearts game for the DS, even though I'm really convinced I'm going to love/hate it. I have a love/hate relationship with Square Enix now, actually, where I recognize that the games themselves aren't that great, but they're such inspiration fodder. The only game I super-loved from them recently was TEWY; it's like the developers were given a limit on the number of Final Fantasy-esque elements they could put in the game, therefore making it good. And if I ever get a PSP (which I'm tempted to get for P3P), I'll pick up Birth by Sleep as well. I think I'm a Terra fan in the making.

But if I do get 358/2 Days (someone please explain to me why that's not how you pronounce it), it'll pretty much be for Riku because, once again, he's looking to be the only character who actually gets shit done.

Hrm. Anyway!

I think my eyes are getting worse? I vaugely recall the optometrist saying I was developing mild astigmatism when I went for my last check-in. I don't know if that's it, but I do know I can barely look at my computer or without feeling a bit of discomfort. At one point, I was considering getting a Plurk. Now, I can't side-scroll it without wanting to throw up. It's also starting to creep into reading actual books.

So an appointment is in order once I go home for Christmas. One of the reasons I can't wait to get out of Florida is so I can wear contacts again, holy fuck. I miss contacts, and I'm really hating the style of my current glasses. I also miss being able to wear sweet-ass sunglasses >:

Alright, I'm going to do a bit of work before doing some more story brainstorming. I've been slacking on that lately, but I really want to get it going soon.
Current Mood: aggravated
01 October 2010 @ 12:41 am
Jesu Christi, that cockroach in my bathroom (it's been there for WEEKS) was still alive. And still there. It's not anymore because I killed it and thew it out in the common room trash bin, but holy fuck was a battle had.

And now I think everything I feel are it's invisible roach brethren getting revenge :
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: NPR
29 September 2010 @ 09:55 pm
So today at work, we were watching a Dracula movie that I'd never seen before. I normally don't get to pay too much attention to movies on weekdays because we're generally busy-ish. So, at one point, I glance up at the screen and think, "Huh, you know, Dracula looks like Gary Oldman if Gary Oldman had a terrible mustache! But that can't possibly be Gary Oldman, because Gary Oldman can grow an amazing mustache!"

AND THEN THE CREDITS ROLL AND IT'S GARY FUCKING OLDMAN. I feel proud of myself for recognizing him somewhat, because he looks and sounds different in every movie ever. And now I kind of want to watch the movie despite the fact that I don't like vampires because tall-dark-and-handsome makes me uncomfortable :c

But seriously, that mustache? DISAPPOINTING.
Current Mood: disappointed in Gary Oldman
28 September 2010 @ 09:17 pm

Every time I think I'm over even slightly skinny heels, I see something beautiful.
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: 'ALONGWAYTOGO' by Gang Starr
15 August 2010 @ 08:47 pm
I like how, after declaring that I've come to the realization that I don't like art, I feel like drawing. Scribbling, at least. I did some shitty doodles earlier which were shitty, but at least I drew? Idk. We'll see how this year goes.
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: a dumb movie
Despite seeing Inception three times, I loved Scott Pilgrim waaaaay more. I feel like I tried to let it annoy me, mainly because it's set in Canada and is full of Canadian bands and has that whole hipster aesthetic which I hate so much (sidenote: I'm starting to hate Canada. Thanks to you, we have hipsters and Aunt Jemima). But otherwise, it was amazing. Well-written, great editing, I cannot wait for this movie to come out on DVD.

It's got me all keyed up now and I just ate some mochi sherbet which was stupid of me. I'm going to try and calm down a bit so I can actually sleep tonight. G'night!
Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: some unnamed Suju song (I need to organize iTunes...)

Talked to my mom about student loans and such, and it turns out we're waaaaay better off than I thought we were. My estimate was several thousand dollars off, actually. Very reassuring for when I get out of college. I still plan to take as much responsibility as I can for these loans, since, yanno, they're my fault.

I've lately been entertaining the idea of subletting in San Francisco for maybe six months after I graduate. My mind keeps on going back to the city, and I really think I'd like it there. Even if I don't get an industry job, I can at least find a temporary place to work. I'm going to have to save up so much money between now and then, though. Still, I'm excited.

Have I talked about the camera I bought from Lisa lately? And how much I love it? It's gotten me really wanting to try my hand at actual photography, not just portfolio and reference shots. I'm still fiddling around with the controls and such and learning the basics, but I'm going to try to incorporate my illustration knowledge of composition into my shots.

It's odd--it's like I've been trying to find something that gives me the same satisfaction as painting did, and this might be it.

Anyway, I am off to exercise (I love Sparkpeople.com so much, they do the work of sorting out a routine for me), take a bath, and train Sheriff. So far, all he knows is "sit," and he's not even doing that right.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Cash Cab
02 May 2010 @ 09:19 pm
Pick 20 movies/anime/video games/literary works and put their summaries from Better than it Sounds and WITHOUT CHEATING have your friends guess.Collapse )


I've had that in my queue saved posts (queues are on tumblr, Autumn) for like ever. At least since Friday.

ANYWAY my room is a mess of boxes and papers to be recycled. I want to pack as much as I can before mom gets here, so we can frolic most of Friday. These next two days are going to go by slow as all get out, I can tell.

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, the end of the semester is next Monday. I have Monday's off, so I'm leaving Saturday morning!

OH DID I MENTION I HAVE ENOUGH FOR MY CAMERA? I'm having second thoughts about it, though. I want to make sure it's the one I really want before I plunk down $450, though I'm almost certain any alternatives would be more than that.

SO SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY HAPPENED ON SUNDAY except it was kind of sad. I had plans to meet up with some friends from dollsy, drunkkitsune and illuminatesound (I think that's her lj, at least > >). I thought it was this past Sunday, they thought it was next Sunday 8D;;; oops.

SO I'VE HAD THIS ENTRY IN MY SAVED POSTS SINCE LIKE THURSDAY AND IT IS NOW SUNDAY. I am in North Carolina, I need to buy my camera, my pets are cute, my family is lovely, I'm looking for a job. That's up to speed.

03 April 2010 @ 04:29 pm
So I'm sitting at work BORED AS ALL GET OUT and hungry. In an hour, I'm gonna get some munchies and then crash until Megan finds me at 8:30 in order to take reference photos. Then I'll play around before going to a party at Rachel's at 11. Should be sweet times. LET'S IGNORE THAT ILLUSTRATION THAT'S DUE THIS FIRDAY, HMM?

I have a third job and it is awesome. I'm working as this old artist's assistant, organizing her files and helping her get her portfolio and books together. It pays fifteen bucks an hour, which is awesome because there are things I want to buy. That order is one, three, two. Two might be half of a birthday gift, depending on how much I can save up before the end of school.

ANYWAY now begins the process of applying for jobs. Thisisbeautiful FINALLY got back to me, but since I don't have a portfolio I doubt I'll be getting much of an internship. Oh well, I think they'll at least let me check the place out.

Okay for the last half hour, I am going to work on my cover letter. I LOVE YOU ALL.
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Current Location: work
Current Music: The Simpsons Movie (???)
17 March 2010 @ 08:23 am

I keep having urges to "like" things on LJ, what the fuck?!

BECAUSE magmarshmello IS A HUGE DOUCHE JERKFACE WHO KEEPS CRITIQUING THIS ENTRY, all grammatical errors have been fixed :|
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: NPR Morning Edition
01 March 2010 @ 11:52 pm
So first order of business! I'm going to be in Raleigh from this coming Saturday until the following Thursday. I'll probably only have time to hang for like a day, but yes!

I was totally ready to update, but not anymore. I don't know, my project for Aesthetics seems to be going really well. I'm barely referencing any of the people we've read in class, though, and I can't find the original works of the people I am referencing. I can only find excerpts of them from other books. I'll ask him about it on Wednesday.

What else? Really excited to go home on Friday. I love long trips--they allow lots of time for thinking. Though I'll probably be working on homework, depending on how much I decide to do beforehand. Over break, I need to:
  • finish my Aesthetics presentation
  • finish reading and sketch out thumbnails for Perfume
  • finish the Dreamweaver tutorial and set up my blog and website

Here's to me not being lazy!

I've got my paper outlined, at least, so all I really need to do is type and edit it. If I'm smart, I'd have started typing today, but I'm not smart. I'll probably do some on Wednesday and Thursday.

Oh and I've got to do Illustration somewhere in there but ffffffff. Due way later.

YOU GUYS. Why have I never worn my hair in an updo? I am currently willing my hair to grow faster so that I can put it in twists or something and updo it. I also want to dye it like a midnight blue. Yaay!

I have been sleeping oddly lately, which is probably a sign that I should go to bed. Like right soon. OKAY BYE.
Current Location: AC
Current Mood: sleepy
07 February 2010 @ 10:27 pm

Guys my RA interview is tomorrow wish me luuuuuuuuuuuck.

Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: oh god worried!
Current Music: NPR
02 January 2010 @ 09:46 pm
Sooooo my mom's going to be working a few nights a week now, and that means my sister will be staying home alone a lot. Ours is a pretty safe neighborhood, buuuuutttt....

We went to the SPCA today. And mom fell in love with a chow chow.

No, you don't even know. I'm pretty sure this thing is going to be her new baby, not even joking.

He is the most MELLOW THING EVER, OH MY GOD. So fluffy and so cute with the huuuuugest paws. They think he's purebred, but he was found as a stray so they don't know.

He's not ours just yet, but the only reason he's not is because the SPCA needs to contact your vet if you have other pets (just to make sure they're up to date on medical requirements) and ours is closed on Saturday.

But come Monday.....*__*. We're hoping. We're so hoping, and if our hopes come true, expect pictures of fluffy snuggliness.

The only problem is Sammy :/ He hasn't been to the vet in a while. The last time he went, we had to corner him in a room (where he climbed up the plastic blinds), wrap him in a blanket, and stuff him in a box. We took him to the vet and told them he was a crazy one, and they laughed.

When we came back, we learned that they had to sedate him. He hasn't been back since.

I'm glad mom likes this dog so much, though, so she'll have a companion once my sister and I go off to school. She's very independent, but I still worry > >;

Um, anyway. I have spent most of the past few days watching random K-Pop vids. Why am I not in a Korean pop band? 8D

And now I'm watching Hocus Pocus! This is like the only thing I've ever liked Sarah Jessica Parker in. GOODNIGHT.
Current Music: Hocus Pocus

Happy 2010!!! (Two Thousand and Amen?!?)

Spent the night out downtown with mom and Rave. Had an AWESOME time, surprisingly. I was feeling kind of down earlier, but I definitely know that 20-Amen will be better than 2000-Divine.

lol Galaspeak

Anyway, Resolutions!
  • Go for the big dreams.
  • Read books, not trash.
  • Realize my full potential
  • Live life fabulously no matter what

IN ANY CASE I am going to go to bed now!
Current Location: home
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: haha!
Compulsory review:
  1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?: ...drawing a blank.
  2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: Don't even remember them
  3. Did anyone close to you give birth?: No, but two got married.
  4. Did anyone close to you die?: Nope!
  5. What countries did you visit?: Just one I currently live in.
  6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?: A good portfolio, OH MY GOD PLEASE.
  7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: Umm, roommate's birthdays, playing Xbox360/Left 4 Dead for the first time? I don't know, I basically purged 2009 from memory
  8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: AHAHAHA realizing things about myself.
  9. What was your biggest failure?: Things...lack of improvement in a certain area
  10. Did you suffer illness or injury?: Headaches, but those have been forever
  11. What was the best thing someone bought you?: A subscription to ARISE magazine and an Intuos 4...and some fabulous shoes I bought myself :)
  12. Whose behavior merited celebration?: WHAT DOES THIS QUESTION EVEN MEAN?! I don't even know.
  13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: I can't say
  14. Where did most of your money go?: Paint and supplies for paint, gas money, and hotel rooms
  15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: Finally cultivating my aesthetic and getting excited about personal style. And plans for my online portfolio/blog
  16. What song will always remind you of 2009?: "Lady, The Music Sounds Better With You" and America's MKC
  17. Compared to this time last year, are you
    a) happier or sadder? slightly less depressed
    b) fatter or skinner? former
    c) richer or poorer? poorer
  18. What do you wish you’d done more of?: Lots of things! Art, fitness, sex, graphic design
  19. What do you wish you’d done less of?: Self-loathing
  20. How do you plan to spend Christmas?: Spend the day with my mom and sister, then afterwards hanging out with my dad
  21. Did you fall in love in 2009?: Hahaha, no.
  22. How many one night stands?: Think about who you're asking
  23. What was your favorite TV program?: Project Runway (it sucked), Tabitha's Salon Takeover, The Golden Girls (best. bitches. ever.), and more recently Hetalia Axis Powers
  24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?: I have more frustrations with people, I guess
  25. What was the best book you read?: Umm, Fashion is Spinach?
  26. What was your greatest musical discovery?: Just the few songs I mentioned earlier
  27. What did you want and get?: A tablet and glasses
  28. What did you want and not get?: Better determination, a portfolio I can be proud of
  29. What was your favorite film of this year?: I never remember which movies come out which year
  30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: 20...oh god, I don't remember. Something with my mom and sister, then we went to Alabama with my dad. OH I remember my sister made French sweets, we went to the Wake Forest Tea House (???!), and I got this AWESOME mini cake with butterfly rings embedded :D
  31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: A companion! One to hold me when I'm freaking out
  32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?: 4-year-old trying on mom's clothes
  33. What kept you sane?: I am so insane
  34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: I feel like there was someone, but I can't remember what it was
  35. What political issue stirred you the most?: Oh, tons. Mainly, I'd have to say healthcare.
  36. Who do you miss?: A handful of people
  37. Who was the best new person you met?: Did I meet someone new? Mandy's boyfriend? Whatev.
  38. What was the best thing you ate?: HOW SHOULD I KNOW?!
  39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?: I can do better.
  40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: What is this I don't even :|
I have a lot of visualizing to do for 2010
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Current Location: home
Current Mood: dizzy
Current Music: trash tv
05 December 2009 @ 10:09 pm
...so I am completely unconditionally and irrevocably ignoring the fact that my final illustration is in an unfinished finished stage. Thus, I am the happiest I've been all week! :D

My neck hurts like a bad thing. I don't know what happened to it, but last night it was all sore and that still hasn't gone away. Maybe it's these weird seats in 419. I don't understand how we are supposed to sit in these :|

Um, anyway. Paid today, get paid on Monday, yay. Need to buy Christmas presents. Need to not suck.

You know, I want this feeling to continue! I think I am just going to ignore Hodges until his class actually happens.

These mouse clicks are too loud.

You know, theoretically, I could do another illustration? I don't know. I might start another either tonight or tomorrow, but I hate the idea of having had so much stress over my first one for 100% nothing. Suppose that's how it goes, though.

Oh, hey, apparently the labs are open past 10 tonight. Hooray!

So during Figure the other day, I have iReska on shuffle, and it randomly pulls up something from my Gackt/Malice Mizer mix. I rediscovered the prettiness of Older!Gackt's voice 8D I forgot how nice his voice was.

Kay, they are kicking us out of the labs, so I am heading out. Bye!
Current Location: Academic Center
Current Mood: numb
Current Music: security guard says "leave!"
04 December 2009 @ 12:45 am
My neck hurts.
Current Location: Academic Center
Current Mood: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
02 December 2009 @ 11:17 pm
avaowiejfawgh I am doing this wrong everything needs to go away forever.
Current Location: Academic Center
Current Mood: ffffffffffffff
01 December 2009 @ 01:44 am
Even though I got a good amount of work done tonight (and got to play Mario Party 6 and L4D2, yeah!), I still feel anxious and unprepared for tomorrow. It's, of course, due to Illustration. I need to be working on my final, but Hodges keeps on holding everyone back at the tight sketch (and then has the nerve to bitch at us when we haven't moved on). He specifically said for this project that we can't move on until he approves every step of the process (thumbnails, tight sketch, value studies, lighting studies [??? how are these different from value studies?), and color studies. If we don't do that, we get an F.

It's just.....aguh, annoying! This project is due in 3 class days, we need to be working on our final pieces! I'm praying that I'll be able to move on with what I've got, start color studies in class, e-mail him those studies, and start the final on Friday.

Ugh. So much fucking work. It's list time! I need to see what I need to do:
  • Finish illustration (due next Tuesday)
  • Illustration portfolio (due next Friday?)
  • Computer illustration (due next Friday)
  • Figure portfolio (Due next Thursday?)
  • Visual Anthropology final (Monday)

    So! I think, tomorrow, since figure is canceled, I'll work on redoing some things for Computer Ill and studying for VA. After classes end, I'll go to the labs and do color studies for Illustration and start scanning things for portfolios. I'll e-mail Hodges that night with the color studies. And during Computer Ill tomorrow, I'll order the colors I need and work on my promotional piece.

    Okay, awesome. What I need to focus on this week/weekend are Illustration, Computer Illustration, and Visual Anthropology. WHY AM I STRESSING SO MUCH? I hate you, end-of-semester.

    OKAY SLEEP TIME NOW. Note to self: pick up paycheck, stop by school store. Also, at some point, make a budget, because you want a Bamboo tablet (can't afford an Intuos ;__;), and Xbox, and three games that will be UBER-EXPENSIVE. Well, actually, one game; the other two I can get after I graduate.


Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: idk my bff jill
29 November 2009 @ 11:54 pm
Ffff, so I basically said "Fuck you" to all my homework other than Visual Anthropology (due in 12 hours) this break :| Some things I knew I couldn't get done due to paint, but others were far less appealing than not doing homework. I'll make it up Saturday. And then Sunday maybe Ikea.

I did foolishly buy a new sketchbook, though. It's pretty and blue and will be my crack sketchbook. I WON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL SEE IT BUT ME.

But, um, break! Why have I not bought jeans from Old Navy before? They are the most amazing, comfortable pairs of jeans I own (though they are a bit thin.) Thank you, Black Friday sales.

I also bought some other stuff I shouldn't have but I got paid a lot last week and I get paid again tomorrow so I decided to treat myself 8|

I want an Xbox 360. So does my sister, apparently, and she plans on asking dad for one. I think this is a TERRIBLE IDEA. For one, I am 100% certain that he won't buy it, and I will feel hella guilty if he did because, yanno, recession. Two, she is going to college in half a semester. She barely uses the Wii or the PS2 now, and most games for Xbox are lengthy things. WHAT IS THE POINT OF BUYING ANOTHER GAME CONSOLE IF YOU BARELY HAVE TIME FOR GAMES? Three, I'm tired of the whole "asking parents for the really expensive things" deal. Mom asked me what I want for Christmas, I told her $60. To pay for half a tablet. I DON'T REALLY WANT THAT, THOUGH. I want to buy a tablet myself, with my own hard-earned money.

I don't know. My sister has no job and cannot drive herself anywhere yet. She's nearly 18. I really think it's time for her to start being independent. She goes on about how independent she will be and she wants to be, but has yet to actually do anything about it.

And yes, Rave, I do find it silly that you want to spend so much money on make-up. Now is not the time for that. Do that when you have disposable income, which you do not since you have no income due to you not having a job.

Okay this is getting rambly and I really should sleep. I am expecting major plane-tiredness tomorrow, so I may crash after VA. Or do homework and then crash. Geez. GOODNIGHT.
Tags: , ,
Current Location: home
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Law and Order: Criminal Intent
SO IT IS OFFICIALLY NOVEMBER. I'm getting a new phone at some point. I have a crush! On a boy this time! It is awkward.

Uuuummm today is going to suck. I hate my Computer Illustration piece, so crit is gonna blow. Then Illustration is due Friday, and Hodges still has me changing my piece. And my homework for Pratt sucks. CAN THIS WEEK BE OVER ALREADY? CAN IT BE THANKSGIVING BREAK? I just want to fly on a plane, have my mom drive me the 40 minutes to Wake Forest, and squeeze the ever-loving life out of everything living in my home.

Uuuuggghhh my brain is freeeeeeeeeezing. Also, am pretty convinced those moodswings from weeks ago were caused by my birth control, which means I need to get a new brand when I go back. Which is awesome, cause this brand costs $25 dollars when my doctor told me it'd cost $10. And my old brand cost $10, but made my period really weird. But at least I didn't get cramps in the middle of my cycle? Idk, and this is tmi. ACRONYMS, YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Really, my fingers are just hitting keys right now and I have no idea what I'm typing. This probably means it's time to stop. Love n' peace.
Current Music: 'Lady, the Music Sounds Better With You'
30 October 2009 @ 01:25 am
Lot's has happened since last week's drama! I am too emotionally drained to remember it! I have, however, started my new job, and it's awesome. I feel all business-secretary-y and full of responsibility.

Classes have been a whirlwind lately. Pratt's class is driving me insane. I don't know if he's making me love art or want to stay far, far away from it.

I've also got a shit-ton of scholarships to do work for. And by a shit-ton, I mean two. But both require lots of work, alas. Also, also, I need to take my laptop to IT, because everything is running slow slow slow. BUT AT LEAST I HAD TIME TO WASH MY HAIR TONIGHT oh god my scalp was so dry and dandruffffyyyyy.


Ugh. I am blissfully ignoring all the work I have to do this weekend! But now I am going to list them!
  • work on ring for my new boss
  • 5 value sketches, 2 color studies, and 2 in drawings for Pratt (Tuesday)
  • hopefully get my tight sketch approved during class, then finish illustration for Hodges (Tuesday)
  • finish Photoshop collage which I have barely started for Perez (likely Tuesday)
  • do research for stupid Anthropology project (Monday)
  • brainstorm for out-of-class Portraiture project (Monday or Wednesday)
  • set up and volunteer at Hallowed Halls (tomorrow)
  • work 4 hours (Saturday)

See, setting it up all list-style really helps. I'm able to see more clearly that way.

Okay, I am going to go and do god knows what right now. I've so been lacking the motivation to work! Clearly, I am not cut out for this.

Also, I am being a crush-slut again :B

Love n' peace
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: 'Mirror' by Gackt
14 October 2009 @ 10:02 am
So I kind of want to go to a con this year! Mainly just for an artist's table. Finally learning how to paint in Photoshop is bringing back my fannish 15-year-old self 8D magmarshmello has invited (?) me to go to Otakon with him and some friends. I think they're doing a Hetalia group, so I might cosplay as one of the African nations > > I also want to be Zoey from Left4Dead (What is it with me and girls with guns? Anita Blake, Sheva Alomar, and Zoey, gosh!)

But I am becoming a total L4D fangirl. I kind-of-sort-of ship ZoeyxLouis, for no reason other than they have more chemistry between each other and everyone else and they always stand next to each other in campaign posters. Plus, they're cute together 8D

It's hilarious, because this game freaks me out so much, but it's so much fun! Here, have the opening!Collapse )

But um, yes. I apologize for my fangirling. Today will be working on portraits and hopefully snagging a certain someone's PS2 to play Persona 4 tonight > > I really want to spend some time out of this apartment 8D

Love n' peace
Current Mood: silly
Current Music: 'Green Green's from the SSBBrawl Soundtrack
13 October 2009 @ 12:15 am
I fucking hate Karl Lagerfeld. The "feminists are ugly women!" shit was sick enough, and now he goes and adds some fat-phobia. I'm utterly disgusted with him.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: NPR
12 October 2009 @ 09:05 am
I have decided that I shall marry someone with the last initial 'L'. Then, my initials will be ARGL, pronounced "argyle" (shut up, I know that's not how it works.) Truly, I am the raddest rad radder to ever rad.


Back to painting!
Current Mood: silly
05 October 2009 @ 10:54 pm
So today in Visual Anthropology, we watched a movie about gorilla preservation in Africa. And honestly, it pissed me off. Natalie Portman was hosting, and she starts of talking about how ohmygosh EIGHT gorillas have been murdered in SIX MONTHS. So tragic, yanno, compared to the MILLIONS OF HUMAN BEINGS that are RAPED, MISSING, AND MURDERED already in that exact same continent. Forgive me if I don't shed a tear over so gorillas.

But what pissed me off the most was this one at...Busch Gardens, I think? She was pregnant, yay hooray! And the movie made a point of mentioning that she got the best prenatal care possible. But oh noes! Birth complications! Emergency delivery! And then there's a shot of this damn gorilla being led on a fucking stretcher with no less than eight doctors around her.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?! We can't fix our damn health care system, we can't get basic care for the poor, but we can make sure this gorilla gets her goddamn baby? I mean, yeah, they're endangered, but HOLY FUCK THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO NEED US RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and we just ignore them in favor of gorillas. Honestly.

During that same class, an awesome girl named Leah gave me water-soluble oil paints. I feel guilty, because oh god paint = expensive, but yay! Free paint!

Alright, I gotta go do more work. Love n peace.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: tired
29 September 2009 @ 07:20 pm
Tilda Swinton? Diane von Furstenburg? Martin Scorsese?? POR QUUUUUEEEEEE????!!!

Seriously, motherfuckers, rape is fucking rape. END OF GODDAMN STORY.

At least Greg Grunberg is being sane.
Current Mood: enraged
14 September 2009 @ 01:16 am

Really, I love you guys too much. I'll have a more detailed update later in the week, but I really need to be up early tomorrow to work. I have loads to talk about? Idk.

I have had a hard-on for hide's music lately. And my old Japanese stuff in general. I may try to get back into the fandom, but it's so expensive and so constant and I have no time right now :(

School is good. Much more confident with exploring, much closer to finding a style that I love. I'm trying to get all of my work portfolio-worthy and gear it towards an internship at Chronicle Books. I also wanna get cracking on a book cover design contest, but details don't go up until October. And maybe I'll try out for the Hallmark workshop? I don't know yet.

Notes to self:
  • save for gouache paints
  • save for Tan Momo
  • participate in Illustration Friday

    Actually, I think I'm going to stay up, because I have lots of energy and it would be a shame not to put it to good use.

    I don't know what I'm going to do about my Tumblr. Probably use it as a more public lj. I have a problem of thinking I need all the answers right-this-second now, instead of...I don't know what the alternative would be. I still want to get Sunday Best off of the ground, but I need to take an afternoon with tea + notebook and really plan it. I'm also thinking about my portfolio site, though in theory, I don't really need that right now. It'd like to get it started by Christmas break, though. Yay for thinking of logos and business cards!

Current Location: dorm.
Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: NPR
22 August 2009 @ 10:26 pm
YES I'M ALIVE just getting shit together brb.
13 August 2009 @ 10:01 pm
Fffff, I head back to school on Sunday. So much stuff I need to sort out with that. This is the point where I can't decide if I wish I were more motivated to illustrate or if I wish I had chosen a different major. What I do know is that I don't want another year of completely wrapping myself up in Ringling, because then I will go insane.

Surprisingly, all of my clothes (save for the carry-ons) fit in one trunk! And my shoes only took up half of another! Truly, this is the sign of the apocalypse.

My mind is kind of blah right now. One of those times where I have feelings but don't really feel like talking about them.

I got my Gardasil shot today! 1 of 3. Didn't hurt as much as I thought it would (thank you, acetaminophen!) and I didn't pass out afterwards (which apparently can happen). And my arm isn't nearly as sore as it was when I got my tetanus shot.

Anyway, head back to Sarasota on Sunday. Here's to me staying sane for another school year. Love n' peace.
Tags: ,
Current Location: home
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Ace of Cakes
10 August 2009 @ 04:19 am
I love you all. Every single one of you.
05 August 2009 @ 08:51 pm
Quick update: Just as I was considering making the commute to Tampa every weekend to work at Lush, my old boss calls with my job back. You have no idea how happy that made me.

Anyway, the past two days I've been cleaning my room and have thrown out about a fuckton of old school papers. I have far too much randomness in my room, and, rather than delay the stress of sorting through it for when I graduate, I've decided to start whittling away at my possessions now. Yesterday was also spent watching a marathon of Law and Order: SVU, while today's marathon was Teen Titans.

And now I'm off to teach myself coding stuff. It is 9, but it feels like 11. When did my emotions suddenly drop?

Love and peace.